I Need You To Catch Me When I Fall
by doyouliveforthefantasy
Summary: Nikki's spent years trying to hide her feelings from Harry. What happens when she has no choice but to admit them. Bad summary I apologise.
1. Chapter 1

**Silent Witness Fanfic**

**I Own Nothing, Silent Witness And All Things Involved Including Harry Cunningham And Nikki Alexander Are Owned By The BBC **

_I Need You To Catch Me When I Fall_

_Chapter One_

Nikki sat comfortably at Harry's desk, her thin fingers tapping away on the keyboard, finishing her PM report on a student's suicide. It had been a very long day. Tiredness ached Nikki's bones. She could feel a pair of eyes burning her skin, prompting her to slowly raise her head.

Harry stood leaning against the door frame, a content smile upon his handsome face. A smile pulled at the corners of Nikki's pink lips. There was something in Harry's smile that caused her hormones to do excited little back flips. She let out a breath and tore her gaze from his smile. Her brown eyes trailed down his body. A navy blue shirt clung to his chest.

_His pulling shirt_ Nikki thought sourly.

Her hormones stopped immediately. If he was wearing his pulling shirt then it meant that he was going out with one of his 25 year old bimbos.

"So who's this one?" Nikki asked.

"Her name's Sarah, she's from Manchester and only in London for the weekend" Harry explained with a smile. Nikki moved in her spinny chair so she was fully facing Harry.

"So you've shagged everyone in London, so now you're being forced to venture onto the one's who are only here for the weekend?" Nikki said dryly.

Harry let out a chuckle and smiled at her again.

"Not quite Niks, it seems you're the only one who's left out" He replied softly, a movie star smile on his face that caused her hormones to stir excitedly again as he turned and left the room.

An image of Harry caressing her skin with his lips flashed before her eyes. Nikki snapped back to awareness, thrusting the thought aside quickly. Why was she thinking like that? She shouldn't, couldn't be thinking of Harry like that. Nikki shook her head, attempting to thrust the image from her head as it attempted to claw its way back in.

Sure Harry was attractive and they'd shared that one incredible kiss all those years ago. But he was her best friend. A nagging feeling prodded Nikki's subconscious. She stared at the computer screen again but was unable to make any sense of the report. The words just fuzzed into a big jumble. After a few useless minutes she gave up and pushed her chair backwards, looking down at her knees.

Nikki exhaled slowly, allowing the breath to leave her over a long period of time.

A girl shouldn't have a daydream of her best friend caressing her skin with his soft fingers, his lips trailing over her body. Thinking of Harry like that wasn't good. She didn't even know why she was thinking of Harry like that.

And that's when it hit her. Like a slap in the face. She knew the reason why.

**Reviews Please? Don't Know whether to leave this as a one off or turn it into a story hmm**


	2. Chapter 2

**I Need You To Catch Me When I Fall**

_Chapter Two_

Nikki scrubbed her hand through her golden blonde hair as she stumbled down the corridor to the changing rooms. She had to change into her scrubs in order to perform a pm on the body that lay waiting in the cutting room. That's if she didn't fall asleep on the table. She'd barely slept the night before, images of Harry had clawed their way into her dreams. She'd awoken this morning after only three hours sleep covered in sweat and short of breath. The one that she wanted was to get this pm over and delay seeing Harry. There was no way that she could deal with him this morning.

_Which is lucky_ she thought _He normally stumbles in late after a night with the bimbos._

Nikki rounded the corner, immediately stopping dead in her tracks. Her sleepy brown eyes ran over the pale toned plains of Harry's chest as she stood topless across the room in front of his own locker. Harry gave her a questioning look with a single raised eyebrow as to why she was stood statue still just staring. Nikki gulped and forced her legs to move forward, even though they felt like lead weights. She gave a fake yawn in a desperate attempt to cover the rather obvious reaction that had engulfed her when she'd walked into the room. She'd seen Harry topless before, but this time it made her head go all fuzzy. The other times she'd seen Harry topless, hadn't followed a night of the dreams that she'd had last night.

She sat down on the wooden bench in front of her own locker to undo her leather boots. Her eyes trailing up Harry's back as he changed. She noted that she was wearing the same jeans as yesterday and the same shirt as last night lay screwed up further up the bench. An indication that it wasn't his own bed that he'd slept in last night. A sickly feeling stirred the pits of Nikki's stomach. She swallowed deeply, trying to make the feeling dissipate. Her eyes continued to move further up his back. The top of his back and shoulders were covered in red marks. Nikki's eyebrows lowered and she scowled. Jealousy surged through her like a wrecking ball, enough to knock her over had she been standing.

Red marks that were caused by long nails. Red marks caused by a woman's nails. Red marks caused by a 25 year old bimbo's nails.

Nikki's throat was suddenly dry. "Good night then?" She asked as he put on another shirt.

_Not that I really want or need to hear the answer_ She thought sourly.

Harry looked over his shoulder and chuckled. "I didn't know they were that obvious"

Nikki gave a dry fake smile and rose from the bench. She opened her own locker, the door was a boundary between her and Harry. Enough to hide the unpleasantness of her facial expression.

"She's really something" Harry cooed.

"Oh I bet" Nikki replied sarcastically as she began to change.

Harry leaned backwards to see around her locker door, a questioning look staining his face. "Cheer up Niks, you're only grouchy cause you're not getting any"

"Don't I know it" Nikki mumbled, not loud enough for the sound to travel to Harry.

Harry continued to plough on, having not heard what she'd said. "At least you not getting any means that you're not going home with unsuitables again"

Nikki steeped backwards and shot Harry a filthy look. "Not all of the men who are go home with are unsuitable Harry" She snapped.

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Just the majority then" he said bluntly.

"My personal life has absolutely nothing to do with you Harry!" Nikki all but spat. "And besides even if I do occasionally take men back to my flat, it's not as bad as the endless stream of women that you take back to yours. I mean none of them are exactly appropriate are they Harry? You're not as young as you think maybe you should stop picking up women in their mid twenties and actually find someone decent" A burning jealousy was engulfing all her reasoning. She knew that she shouldn't have said that, but envy surged through her veins. She didn't like the thought of him taking any woman home, but she couldn't exactly explain why when she didn't want to think about it herself. The words had gone unsaid for way too long, now their was no way of stopping the word vomit, it was forcing her to carry on snapping away.

Harry stared at her for a few moments, his expression neutral. But his eyes were darker than before, his anger all too evident. She'd seen him angry before, she'd had him angry at her before. But time was different, this time there was a fury burning inside him. And it was aimed at her.

Nikki glowered at him. "The women I date have nothing to do with you Nikki, just like the men that you date don't have anything to.."

"If they don't have anything to do with you why are you patronising me about them" Nikki interrupted.

They argued over each other, both of them raising their voices trying to be heard over the other. Every time that he surged anger at her, she hit it head on.

"For your information, Nikki, for your information" He bellowed over the top of Nikki's continuing argument, "For your information, Sarah is the first girl I've dated in about a month"

Nikki raised her hand and turned away from him with a scowl, "Oh big god damn deal, you missed out on some mindless nights with strangers because of work" she spat.

Harry slammed his locker door shut, the force reverberated through Nikki's bones as she tore towards her. He stopped inches from her, his hot angry breath down on her face.

"You want to know why I cancelled dates with the girls, it was because of you Nikki" Harry hissed. Nikki snapped her head upwards to look at him, her heart pounding in her chest with anger and confusion.

"It was because you and your little crisis's and needing me to be there to pick up the pieces all of the time." Harry said flatly, the emotion gone from his voice. He gave her a look that chilled her bones before he turned and stormed across the room.

Nikki shook her head in disbelief of what he'd just said. "Oh go to hell Harry" She bellowed after him as he stomped through the door.

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I'm not really sure about this chapter, it's really hard to write them arguing properly, so I apologise if you don't like it

**Reviews Please?**


	3. Chapter 3

_I Need You To Catch Me When I Fall_

_Chapter Three_

Nikki had lived on her own for a long time. Normally she loved it, loved the peace and quiet and being able to do whatever she wanted. But for once, she wished that someone lived with her. Someone to make the apartment seem less lonely. Someone to vent to, get everything off her chest. She needed someone to distract her from her endless train of thoughts. She needed a best friend. She needed Harry.

But Harry wouldn't be there for her this time.

The blonde woman stood beside the window, her oversized threadbare grey jumper drowned her, hanging down near her bare knees. She raised the cup to her mouth, draining the dreadful remains of cold coffee. Her long blonde hair hung around loosely around her face. Her mind was mulling over the argument that she'd had with Harry this morning. The day had started off so differently. She'd awoken from pleasant yet unsuitable dreams that left a smile upon her face. This morning it had been fantasies of Harry in very little that been etched onto the back of her eyelids. But now, it was the look of darkness he'd shown her as he'd said the final sentence that tore her heart out, that she saw every time she closed her eyes. Nikki closed her eyes slowly and shook her head. She sniffed up and leaned her head against the cold glass of the window. It's chill nothing like the one that froze her inside.

Nikki pulled her forehead back from the window, fatigue aching her bones. Sadness and regret staining her face. She turned on heel and padded across the living room, her toes sinking into the softness of her cream carpet. The soft carpet gave way to cold tiles as she entered the dimly lit kitchen. Nikki sighed and turned on the kettle, placing her cup down beside it. Her heart ached and her stomach was sick as she thought about the day.

She and Harry had sat opposite each other, but no words had been spoken. The tension in the room was like a wrecking ball to anyone that entered. Because even though she'd hated the words that she'd spoken in the argument, all of them were true. She had no claim on Harry, never had and never would.

Yet the thought of women in his bed made her feel physically sick with jealousy. A jealousy she'd controlled for so many years. But it seemed that, like normal, fate had decided to be a bitch and throw curve balls Nikki's way. Her heart forcing her mind to listen to it's longing for the one that could never be hers. No matter how much she desperately wanted him. Nikki exhaled slowly, dragging out the breath over many seconds.

She toed through the magazines on her kitchen counter before giving up and tossing them all in the recycling bin. The words just didn't absorb in her over active brain. She leaned against the worktop facing the rest of her kitchen, lightly biting her lip, her arms crossed across her chest. There was something shining on her fridge in the minimal light of the kitchen. She padded silently across the kitchen to the fridge which was littered with pictures. Pictures of her childhood, pictures of her adult life.

But one in particular caught her eye.

A picture of her and Harry from a few years before. In it, Nikki was looking at the camera, an honest smile lighting up her face. But Harry was looking at her instead. She reached out and pulled it out from under it's magnet. Staring at the picture, feeling her heart swell a few sizes. The look on the picture was the same look that he sometimes gave her. A look that made her hormones do back flips and made her want to believe.

Believe in something pure and true. Believe that one day her life would be fair and love would come knocking at her door.

Memories flooded through her mind. All the way back to the day that they'd met. The day that her life had changed forever. How far she'd come from being the lost and lonely forensic anthropologist. Memories of the flying show he'd taken her too. And of course, the day of the conference, when they'd ended up in that little pub, the way he'd shut her up with a kiss.

That day she'd realised that her heart belonged to Harry.

Harry had always been there when she'd needed him. He'd wiped away all the tears she'd shed, he'd held her close whenever she needed someone to be there. He'd been the perceptual knight in shining armour, always coming to the rescue whenever she needed saving. Catching her every time she'd fall. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Nikki placed the picture down on the counter beside her cup and placed her hands on the granite worktop. Her head down and her long blonde hair falling around her face. She couldn't live in this post argument aftermath. Because as much as she hated to admit it, the thing that scared her most in this entire world, was Harry not being there.

_What have I done? _She thought, her eyes finding the picture again.

Because she needed Harry, even if it was just as a friend. She needed him to stand beside her and hold her in his arms. Make her feel like she belonged somewhere. Something that even her lovers couldn't make her feel.

Nikki reached for the phone, typing in Harry's number by heart. It rang once, twice, three times, four. There was no answer, it just went to voice mail.

_Hi, you've reached Harry Cunningham. I'm not here at the moment but please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I'm not with the dead guys. Bye. _

Nikki smiled, her eyes lighting up at the sound of his voice. She left a message saying how sorry she was for the argument and that she didn't mean a word she'd said. Could he forgive her and call her when he got home. She put the phone back in the holder and turned to leave the room, stopping only to pick up the picture. She ran her finger lightly across Harry's face, frozen in time and frozen in memory.

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A shrill ringing dragged Nikki from the depths of sleep. The phone was flashing and vibrating its way across the white bedside table. Leo's picture filled the screen. Nikki flopped out a bare arm from under the covers and groped blindly for her mobile phone. She found it on the fifth attempt and dragged it back under the covers. She snuggled back into the warmth of the duvet and tapped the receive call button.

"Alexander" she mumbled sleepily. Her eyes still closed.

"Nikki it's Leo..." the voice rang down the phone, the loudness of it making Nikki's ears ring.

"Leo it's.." she interrupted, pulling the phone away from her face and opening a single eyelid to check the time. "...4:30 in the morning." _Can't people die at decent times_ she thought as she continued to speak. "If it's case, call Harry because I'm too tired to get up"

"Nikki, Nikki, Nik" Leo's voice said urgently down the phone in reply as she moaned over him. "Nikki, that's the thing, it's Harry. There's been a car accident, a bad one. And Harry was involved"

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**Reviews? Make me happy and tell me what you thought**


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